In The Spotlight Today: Diane Pomerantz!
Tell me about yourself! How old are you, and where are you from?
Diane: Hi. I’m Diane Pomerantz. I’m a mom of two grown children and I am a psychologist, working mostly with children in the Baltimore, Maryland area.
In 100 words or less, give us a summary of your book.
Diane: Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a memoir about my marriage to a man who was interesting, brilliant, charming and a narcissist. It is the story of surviving in an emotionally abusive marriage while going through treatment for an aggressive cancer and finally breaking free and growing from the experience. A major theme in my book is how we neglect to pay attention to the things we do see, the clues, our own internal “watchdog,” which can guide us if we would only trust ourselves
What inspired you to write your memoir?
Diane: Process … from the very beginning it has been a process. I started keeping a journal in 1997 when I began psychoanalysis. I was married, we had struggled with infertility problems, finally had created a family through adoption and a successful IVF pregnancy, moved into a wonderful house and I was depressed. A year after starting analysis I was diagnosed with a very aggressive breast cancer. Initially I thought I would write about that journey. Little did I know that cancer would seem like an insignificant problem compared to the mind-devastating, gas-lighting betrayals and mind-tricks I was to experience within my marriage as I fought for my life medically. Little did I realize this had actually been going on for years, subtly … this had been my depression.
So, the focus of my writing changed …. it became cathartic; it was the raw expression of the pain and anguish that was my life. Finally, when I separated, I continued to write but with two children to raise and working full-time, whenever I returned to write, I found myself re-writing chapter seven over and over again … this went on for years. Once my children were in college, my writing became more focused, and with increased understanding came increased distance from the pain. The narrative of my life began to unfold, and then that, too, began to change. What’s been most fascinating has been the discoveries I’ve realized since my memoir was completed and published. The process of understanding and healing did not end when the writing was done. As a psychologist, I’m not new to psychotherapy … I have had a lot of it over the years, and since I have finished writing my memoir I feel more grounded than I have ever felt before. I discovered that having written my memoir continues to heal me in ways that astound me. I felt my story was an important story for many woman who all too often do not trust what they know in their gut to be true. That was why I wrote this book.
If you could give advice to young women dealing with a similar relationship like the one in your book, what would you tell them?
Diane: Narcissists will try to isolate you from others … it is essential that you maintain a support system. Trust what you see and trust what you feel in your gut. Set/ maintain your boundaries
When did you publish this book, and what was your biggest challenge while publishing?
Diane: I published my book in October 2017. I had been writing it for many years. One of the major struggles was whether to write it as a memoir or write it as a novel ownership of my story. As I gained distance from the pain and really processed my story I realized that it was about “me” not anyone else and I wanted to take ownership of it as my own story and make it a “memoir” … I lost the fear I initially had about owning it as my own story
If you could pick one song to describe this book, what would it be?
Diane: There is a South African folk-song that was sung by Art Garfunkle in about 1972. I didn’t hear it until about 1999 just before I left my marriage with my two young children. The song is Woyaya – the women sang it in the fields and it is a song of perseverance.
Do you write fiction as well? If not, would you and what genre?
Diane: I have written some short stories and some poetry. I do have a psychological novel I’m working on. I am also working on a parenting book.
What are two of your favorite books? Least favorite?
Diane: Stones from the River by Ursula Hegi and Heat Lightning by Leah Hager Cohen
Do you have any other hobbies, businesses that you would like to share?
Diane: My Newsletter will be available shortly with great Book Reviews, Parenting Tips, discussion of current Psychological Issues in the News. Readers can sign up on my website: http://dianepomerantz.com
Do you have any upcoming book specials/giveaways or events?
Diane: Lost in the Reflecting Pool: a memoir is currently $0.99 on Kindle
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Check out Lost in the Reflecting Pool: a memoir on Amazon! https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Reflecting-Pool-Diane-Pomerantz-ebook/dp/B07414L8B6/
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